The princesses of social and sharing

Before you read this post – I ask you girls in particular to cast your mind back to your teenage years.   Specifically, think about that ‘group’ you wanted to be a part of so badly.   I appreciate that may be cringeworthy for some and perhaps too painful for others, but hopefully my reason for taking you back there will start to become clear.

Recently, I have begun to notice a lot of similarities between what I experienced as a teenager to what might actually (strangely) be some guiding principles applicable to building communities in the social web.  This may sound pretty bizarre, it kind of is, but let me explain 5 points I truly believe we can draw on from the behaviour of teenage girls to build desirable sharing, social communities.

1. They create exclusive groups you really want to be a part of.

Maybe its because as a teenage I was generally on the outskirts of the cool groups.  If I did manage to crack into them I didn’t last very long.  I get bored pretty quickly, I was never very good at complying with what was considered to be acceptable behaviour to be in their gang and as a result I was made an outkast on a number of occasions.  This never stopped me wanting to be a part of them though.  Those girls had social influence, they knew where all the best parties were and had all the cutest boys interested in them.  Seeing a group whose members have something that you want makes it desirable.  That coupled with the fact you have to prove your worth and influence your way into it makes it even more so.

2. They create stories and drama

For anything to successfully hold attention, it’s got to be interesting.  Teenage girls have an ability to take the smallest of things and create it into a drama of epic proportions.  They can be ‘creative’ with the truth and can turn any event in something worth talking about.  This is a real skill, showing an aptitude for what will interest and resonate with their audience.  It could be very powerful, applied in the right way.

3. They attention seek

They want to be noticed, and will use their collective power and influence to do so across their networks.  They will make sure they are at all the right events and parties, wearing the right clothes and talking to the right people about the right things.   (Although there is always one member of the group who generally doesn’t get it quite right, who was usually me)  They want to be spoken about and will figure out the best approach in any social situation to make sure get that limelight they crave.

4. They know their target.

To many girls, the success measure is getting the boy.   Teenage girls know how to stalk.  If there is a boy that she wants to get closer to, she will do everything in her power to find out about him, his life and everything he’s into.  Back in pre-internet days that may have involved many cleverly planned conversations and research of school sports notice boards to gain this information.  Now, it’s all there ready to be Googled or seeked out on Facebook or MySpace.  Girls know where to find the information and will make sure they are well read and ready to use it whenever the opportunity comes.

5. They share

Teenage girls share everything.  If you have any 16 year old nieces/cousins I invite you to look at their facebook stream (with their permission for obvious reasons)  I guarantee you will be shocked by how much they put out there to the world.  It’s not a new phenomenon, we’ve done it for years – we just relied on good old fashioned gossip before.  If something is juicy – they will spread it, and they’re really good at it.

They also share resources and they learn from each other.    Tools like clothes, music and make up, but also stories in order to analyse and every single element of each others’ social lives.  They rely on their network for emotional support and shared knowledge.  Although, the amount they share about each others’ relationships they should be experts by the time they are 21 – its never really that straightforward though, as every girl knows.

Now, I am having a bit of fun here – I know my analogy is not exactly the most robust.  The irrational nature of teenage girls to fall out of friendship at an instant, steal a close friend’s boyfriend and be downright devious and untrustworthy is hardly a solid and reliable community base.

However, I do think that any group that command so much passion and attention from connected networks around them must have something we can learn from through observation.