Tag Archives: happiness

Aside

Its 2012, a new year, time for a fresh start.  This article from the blog Ordinary Courage got me thinking this week. It’s about an initiative called ‘One Little Word’ where you define one word that will be yours for 2012. … Continue reading →

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Posted on January 11, 2012

The happiness of feeling vulnerable

Posted on October 6, 2011 | 2 Comments

Photo credit

Where I work at Leo Burnett Sydney, we have a monthly award for the person in the team who ‘gives something a go’, feels the fear and does it anyway.   It’s one of my favourite things about the culture there that we reward that kind of attitude.

It sucks to not be good at something, or expose yourself for not being able to keep up with others.  It makes us feel shameful about ourselves.  We can all empathise with that feeling too –  I never learnt to skip at school, because other kids laughed at me when I tried, so I avoided it more and more and to this day I still get an almighty fear when I am faced with a rope at the gym.  I always try and make excuses that I’ll get more benefit of doing something I am good at.  My trainer never buys that argument though and actively encourages me to take on the challenge to be uncomfortable.

We all do it.  We stay safe.  We stay in control.  Everything is good and calm here, it minimises stress when we are here.

Whilst that is all very nice however, when you do things that make you fearful, or you enter into something where you have little or no control  - that’s when things happen that make life that bit more exciting and worthwhile.  The ups and the downs are what make next Wednesday feel different to last Wednesday.

Sure we might get it wrong,  fuck up, or heaven forbid we might fail and look stupid to other people and they might not want to know us anymore.  But by exposing ourselves we experience new emotions and feelings and that is where new inspiration often happens.  You experience something you haven’t felt previously, adrenaline and endorphins flow as we experience the rush of the high.   It’s when we form connections with others who go with us on the journey.  All of these things that all have the power to make us feel happier.

The more I thought about all of this,  the more I started to see the things I had put off, made excuses about and ‘protected’ myself against, protected by immersing myself in other places where I felt comfortable and restricting the time and energy I could put in elsewhere.  It was time to take on some of my very own fears and start embracing the vulnerable.  Here’s what I did and what I got out of it.

1 – I got my hands dirty

I am not great in the kitchen, but I decided instead of taking the easy option of buying a cake for a Bridal Shower I was attending I would try I baking Scottish Shortbread.   Of course, I failed miserably and had to throw it all out and buy replacement goods in the end.  But the experience gave me a story to tell my Mum on Skype on Sunday, and it meant she could share her advice with me and the whole experience ended with me having a laugh with her about it all and feeling positive I might give it another try soon with a bit more direction and guidance from the homeland.

2 – I dived in

A girl who has never really pushed herself in the water, happy bobbing about in summer and leisurely breast stroking to no great exertion.  I’ve decided to train for the first time to do an ocean swim.  Starting with a dive into some fresh water under a fairly chilly, grey October day.  Taking a deep breath and feeling that fear that I was about to start doing something I don’t really know how to do yet.

I really struggled, I tried 6 times unsuccessfully to swim a lap freestyle.  My heart was thumping and my emotions working overtime.  Those little voices in my head telling me “Why are you doing this?  You’ll never manage to actually swim a whole ocean swim if you can’t even do one lap.”  But I tried and tried, eventually I did manage to swim one and then thinking about what had worked and what hadn’t worked a bit more, I managed to swim two, the second way stronger than the first.  Exhausted, I pulled myself out of the pool feeling exhilarated and buzzing share my success with anyone who’d listen.

3 – I admitted I had a problem

I am terrible at saving money.  But I sat down and looked honestly at my financial state of affairs for the first time and made a plan.  A plan that is very scary for the lifestyle I like to lead, but one that will help me have a more stable and secure future.

I know I am not going to be any good at any of these things any time soon.  Which is sad in a way I will probably feel a bit crap about myself for a while, but my efforts in trying I’m hoping will teach me some good lessons including;

  • Accepting that people will point out where I need to improve and learn not take it too personally.
  • To train myself to have more discipline to keep at things, not just giving in when it gets hard or scary.
  • Learn how to fail gracefully.
  • To take my learnings and apply them to other elements of my life where I might feel comfortable now and have the confidence to shake them up a bit too.
  • To complete something I feel proud of.  To start is one thing, to get to a point of completion is a whole other.
  • To embrace feeling a bit vulnerable and have the courage to do so.

If you haven’t already seen them watch/read the things that inspired this post.

Poke the Box by Seth Godin

Wholeheartedness

Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the questions: How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness?’ (Thank you to Marie Claire Jenkins who helped this fascinating talk cross my path)

Creation Myth.  Xerox PARC, Apple, and the truth about innovation. by Malcolm Gladwell

Andy Rooney.  Force for Technological Innovation

Lastly,  have a think about what scares you.

Make a plan to tackle 1 fear or if you are feeling ambitious like me, maybe 3 and let me know how you go, it’ll be nice to have some company as I face mine!

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Community planning principles (inspired by festivals and foodies)

Posted on August 18, 2011 | Leave a comment

I always forget how much I appreciate being involved communities until one of those days happen where you get a massive hit of oxytocin and realise how important they are in putting a smile on our face.

When I say community, I use the term very loosely.  It is one of those words that‘s applied across so many different things now, in this case I am referring to a group of people who were brought together to share in the adventure of going on an road trip to a music festival together.

Its not often you meet a group of people who, other than knowing one or two others, didn’t know the majority of people there, but still very quickly and naturally become a happy, thriving mini community.    Other than having an awesome time, the experience got me thinking about why it worked so well?  Was there anything about the approach that was taken that I could learn from?  About the traits you need to build, lead and inspire a strong community of people, where the members get the happiness hit of belonging and the team spirit is strong.

The rough model below is what I came up with.

How that would apply to my festival experience ;

  • People – A group of 35 people all brought together through friends of friends.
  • Passion  – A love of music festivals.
  • Person – The leader of the group, the one who brings it all together.  In this case it was a guy celebrating his 30th birthday, who with a few close friends has co-ordinated the crew, sorted the logistics, answered questions, organized a meet up session where the group could get to know each other beforehand and made sure we had walkie talkies for our convey of 6 campervans so we could keep the conversation going through the entire (long) drive north to Splendour from Sydney.   (Just one of the little touches that helped the community feel ‘together’)
  • Place – As well as the initial face to face meet up, a private Facebook group was created where in the lead up our lead would post regular updates to re-invigorate excitement and others were encouraged to post links and info.  Building momentum and excitement all the while.  It also easily allowed the unfamiliar crew to connect and get to know each other a little better before we departed.   Then of course we had our base camp at the festival, complete with decorated Marque.
  • Points of discussion – The trip and the festival ensured there was always conversation to be had.  Conversation everyone could be involved in and have a point of view about.  Pre the trip the posts on the Facebook group kept the group talking, connecting about the line up, the weather, the party, the food, the outfits, etc.  During the festival there was no shortage of face to face banter and discussion about the acts and general goings-on. Post the event, facebook has again became the place to share photos, videos, memories, in-jokes to keep the conversation and community going, long after the final chillout.

Taking the model out of the context of a crazy crew of pumped people all heading north to party, I thought I would try applying it to another example of another one of my favourite communities.

Secret Foodies.  If you love great food and great company definitely look it up.  They host weekly dining experiences across Sydney that bring foodies together.

“Hosted by Ms Darlinghurst, Secret Foodies’ events are designed to suit people who love great food, meeting new people and have a sense of adventure.”  Secret Foodies website.

  • People – Foodies.  People who express that food is a part of their identity and are proud to freely labeling themselves with that tag that others easily understand and can identify with.
  • Passion – Food, food, more food and some wine and ultimately having a passion for new, different and good food experiences.
  • Place – Talk and discussion is a crucial part of building a community and creating that connection that gives us our happiness hit as people.  Here is takes the form of a dinner table.  One of the most historic community forums of all time.
  • Person  – Ms Darlinghurst aka Alex is the ultimate hostess and runs Secret Foodies.  Always smiling, she has an uncanny knack of always making you feel welcome, included and interesting.  She also effortlessly starts conversations that bring people together, keeps the party energized and always has or finds an answer to any foodie query.
  • Points of discussion – Conversation needs fed.  In this example, this it was literally the food of the 4 course meal we worked our way through, plus the accompanying wines that maintained a lively discussion.   Alex also does a great job at keeping the conversation going after the event through her blog post reviews that everyone is encouraged to get involved in.

Photo courtsey of Secretfoodies.com.au

Overall, both of these examples in reflection seem like common sense, however I think it did no harm to think about them in the context of a model, to help think about what it is about these communities that makes them work and applying those principles before diving into a social or community based marketing initiative.  It is also valuable to think about the technology available that is available to help connect and bring people together, because done well, its this kind of stuff that can help an experience mean so much more.

(Splendour photos courtesy of Alex Luther)

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Let’s get engaged

Posted on May 23, 2011 | 1 Comment

I saw this video last week.   I actually watched it twice.  Closet massive romantic at heart, always ready to be enchanted by a good love story.

Then I showed it to my flatmate.  We cooed over it together.  But that time I realised the shots of the car were rather professionally art directed…

I, like many of the people in the comments stream suspect it is a piece of branded content for Ford.   The branded YouTube channel and website that have popped up in the last few days would suggest there is certainly more happiness to share in the coming tales of Matt & Ginny and their shiny red Ford.

Another happy moment witnessed at the weekend was when  two teenage girls standing next to me at a tram stop in Melbourne spontaneously started rein-acting this Tiffany ad on the panel opposite them.

Putting their arms around each other and walking up the lane,  one mockingly stares into the other’s eyes asks the other if one day she’ll buy her some Tiffany, as they erupt into a fit of giggles.  I was gutted I didn’t quite manage to get their picture in time.

It’s so easy to get addicted to all  the oxytocin and thrill of ‘likes’ and interactions, (an ever popular discussion point in the Sydney Community Manager group) but both Matt & Ginny, if they are a piece of marketing and the Tiffany ad reminded me about the importance and the magic of being able to truly engage with people and make them smile by telling stories with our brands.

Because just liking someone will never make a long lasting love story.

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The not-so-happy side of Photo Memories

Posted on October 21, 2010 | 6 Comments

Photo memories, when they first popped up on Facebook we all smiled with nostalgia and enjoyed dipping in and out of the albums that had been long forgotten, of times gone by that we’d giggled about and commented on at the time!

However, when it comes to relationships Facebook’s efforts to bring a bit of happiness to our everyday lives by tapping into past memories has actually been found to have the opposite effect of making us sad or creating weird undesired tension with an unsuspecting  person whose past you have dipped into.

How it makes you sad – And what Facebook are doing about it
Old photos inevitably mean old relationships and old faces in your life that might not be around anymore. You could be happily going about your day, have a quick dip into facebook and suddenly you are faced with a happy smiling photo of your ex, who it has taken you the best part of 6 months to stop thinking about everyday. Great. That sick feeling returns to your stomach as you try to stop yourself browsing the album with a tear in your eye.

You can delete or block them, yes, that helps, as talked about in a previous post, but sometimes you don’t want to totally sever connections with ex’s, you might have mutual friends or still see them from time to time. Plus, you can hide them in your newsfeed, so you don’t get regular updates from them without making a statement about removing them as a friend. But photo memories, it can pop up totally unexpected and hits you right where it hurts!

Don’t worry though, Facebook has cleverly thought of a way around this by checking past relationship statuses and ensuring that any past connections are barred from the particular algorithm that brings up the memories facebook thinks you might like to see.

Facebook Photos Project Manager Sam Odio said “I’d like to let you know that we’re listening to your feedback. The photo memories product no longer shows tagged photos of your friends if you were previously in a relationship with them.”

Thanks facebook!

I wonder often if facebook has a relationship psychologist working for them on this stuff and who that is? The level of impact the network can have on our easily influenced minds is now quite extraordinary with books like this one – Delete: The Virtue of Forgetting in the Digital Age, now appearing on the shelfs of self help book shop aisles all over the world.

“Facebook makes dating far more complicated than it used to be.” Mashable

Creating awkward tension

The other weird thing about photo memories does is that it can create an unexpected fascination with unexpected people. People you may not even really think about on a day to day basis, or people you have maybe only dated a few times and thought it probably wouldn’t go anywhere. But other people’s old photos are interesting. Admit it. We’ve been harmlessly on our Facebook newsfeed pages when all of a sudden we get distracted by an interesting looking shot in the photo memories section. We click on that photo recommendation and all of a sudden we’ve lost 30 minutes flicking through an album that belongs to someone you don’t know, featuring someone you know now, but you didn’t 5 years ago when these shots were taken. Facebook has intrigued us, got our natural voyeur engaged! Then, before you know it you suddenly have a bizarre knowledge about that person, one they have no idea about. If you mention it to them, do you look like a stalker?

“How has your week been?”, “Well I spent Wednesday night browsing through your holiday pictures from Thailand in 2005, and thinking how hot your ex girlfriend was back then…”

Facebook does things that encourage our inner stalker. But does it creates a curiosity that wouldn’t have been there otherwise? The other important thing to bear in mind is that apparently the infamous algorithm serves us photos in this section of those people we interact with or visit the pages of the most. So, if we keep getting pictures of the ex, or people we are fascinated to find out more about, have we actually brought it on ourselves, is Facebook simply amplifying our natural behaviours and we just don’t want to admit it?

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What do a raft in Wales, a lightswitch, KitKats and Indy Mogul have in common? Some lessons in causal marketing.

Posted on September 16, 2010 | Leave a comment

Another random story from the Swankie career vault.   This week I have been thinking about when I built a raft on a team building course in Wales.  It was cold.  It was Wales.  We were a bunch of bankers building a raft together in Wales, in the cold.  When we finally got it afloat I got my bum wet because the seats weren’t exactly the sturdiest thing I have ever sat on.  Plus, we were last team to make it to the other side of the river.  But you know what, when we did we yelped with joy, hugged each other and felt so uncontrollably happy at what we had achieved together, it was immense and my happiest memory of Wales.  The fact it was a bit tougher for us almost made the whole thing more rewarding, and we had all made a difference to make it happen.

I’m stating the obvious again, but doing stuff together makes us feel good as human beings.  We also get happiness thrills from the pleasure of giving and contributing to causes.  So my hunch?  There must be more we can do with brands to create things people can do for good together, like the Pepsi Refresh project,  that can also make us happier people.   Maybe we will even  like the brands more as a result and buy more of their stuff.   A win for everyone, surely?   Especially now the internet makes it so much easier to bring a bunch of people together in a community.

The danger?  How do you avoid becoming yet another facebook page for a good cause, sponsored by a big brand chasing as many likes and status updates as we can, because I am a big hearted girl who wants to do her bit – but there is only so many times you can promote a good cause before you loose interest or it becomes boring for your friends and followers.  Harsh, but I think it’s a fair call.

These were the questions I had in my mind when I went along to #smcsyd this week to hear John Johnson (@jjprojects) and Dae Levine (@daelevine)  speak, I was curious to hear what they had to say about what made Earth Hour and the Nestle Killer campaign known for their global successes, mass following and tangible results.

Their presentations were good and insightful, and a few people have already beaten me to good analysis of the content they chatted through, so you can read about them here.  From @erietta & from @HannahDeMilta

What I tried to take from the presentations were any key lessons are in building a groundswell around your cause for maximum success.  Are there critical factors we need to consider to help achieve that pop culture status (and get Aston tweeting about you)?  What are the lessons for any brands (or agencies representing brands) who are excited about the opportunity to do something like this?  Do it well, as well as have the maximum chance to demonstrate to the finance director next year it was a sound investment for the company?  I was hoping these two might have some answers for me.

So, if you are keen to start a little social revolution for a cause close to your heart, these are some pointers that I took away from the night that might help you out.

1. Make sure everyone can make a difference to your cause.

If everyone feels like their effort is important and appreciated they will become more involved in supporting and doing it.  I personally am crap at tying rafts together – but my god, I knew my effort counted to us making it to the other side, so I gave it my all and it made my celebration in the ‘success’ I had helped create so much sweeter.  I also liked the fact Greenpeace thanked everyone who helped them out, personally, where possible, by email.

2. Make it really simple.

Turn your lights off for an hour.  Stop buying KitKats.  Easy.  Doing stuff can be scary for people.  Make it something everyone can do if you want lots of people to do it.

3. Let people put their own stamp on it.

Make your content open and encourage people to play with it and adapt it for their own world.  I was curious to hear both Dae and John talk about how they were just as proud of the offshoots and adaptations their campaigns had inspired.

4. Get people emotionally connected.

Greenpeace used imagery of a monkey for a reason.  People get attached to human story and animals.  Bring emotion into it wherever possible.

5. Define and aim for success

Even if it feels a bit pie in the sky, have a goal you would want to achieve and strive to make it happen.

I also found it interesting what they said also echoed what I learnt the week before from the guys at Indy Mogul about making great online videos while they were visiting Sydney on their Australian tour.

They call themselves the “first network for the YouTube generation” and they have over 10 million views a month.  Their formula?   Make programs with really simple genuine concepts, concepts easy for people to get involved in and do (see Backyard FX as reference, which is a show about how to create movie type special effects using household utensils) and enable community conversation around that on YouTube, so the community can help shape the channel and the program.  They even thank a viewer in every show who has commented on the previous edition.  Simple, but effective and spurs more people to leave comments in hope of being featured next time.

The Indy Mogul 4 Golden Rules

  1. Be genuine
  2. Be resourceful and creative, don’t be too slick
  3. Be interactive and responsive
  4. Keep it short

I took from these two events that whether you are making something for good, or just something to get the LOLs, it seems there some really quite simple things to remember that can help get the idea resonating with as many people as possible and producing warm and fuzzy feel good as a result.

Making stuff happen together is a unquestionably a good thing, and as brands start kicking into planning for their 2011 campaigns I am getting excited about what we might all help create next year and the smiles that might bring in the future.  Happy idea making!

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Happylife

Posted on August 30, 2010 | 3 Comments

Completely fascinated by this project which I came across thanks to Iain Tait.

Happylife is a initiative that claims to be building technology that will be able to detect the happiness of people using it more effectively than the human beings closest to them in real life.

Through analysis of facial expressions, eye movement and pupil changes linked to other physiological processes, members in the household are analysed and a device then reports back on your happiness through a LED display and the positioning of a dial on what they reference as “effectively emotional barometers.”

Amazing.  How many times have we sat and wondered how the people in our lives are really feeling.  About what may be hiding in those ‘I’m fine’ responses, when we know fine well they’re not.  What if a machine could really give us the truth or predict oncoming bouts of sadness in advance?  What power or insight would that give us?  Is it a healthy thing for relationships or does it unnaturally take away our right to choose not to share our darker moods when questioned?  Could this kind of science help us become happier people?

Read more about the project here, and also make sure you flick through the gorgeously eery storyboards created to depict the Happylife home.  Their hand sketched glow is spookily enchanting.

Image credits:  augerment

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The quarter life crisis

Posted on August 12, 2010 | 17 Comments

Quarter life crisis?  Me?

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to change every single little thing about your life?  Or one of those months or those years for that matter?  You are not alone.  More and more frequently I am hearing about people in their mid to late twenties who decide, rather suddenly in many cases, to completely transform their lives.  Leaving partners, totally changing careers, starting businesses, dying/cutting their hair, moving to the other side of the world – nearly everyone I know has done at least one of these things in an effort to seek refreshed happiness.

What is it about those post university, early career years that make us fundamentally question who we are and what direction we are going in?    All these questions and challenges we pose ourselves about who we want our grown-up selves to be, along with stressing about what haven’t we done yet and what do we need to achieve before we feel ready to settle down?   There is something about the path we lay for ourselves in our early 20s that by the time we hit 24 we all seem to be saying a similar thing. “It’s what I thought I wanted – but I just wasn’t happy.”

But, does change make us happy?

So, if we are not happy with the path we had, is the secret to happiness through a trial and error combination path of changes until we hit the winning route?    The chart above was sent to me from a good friend of mine.  It really got me thinking about my own situation.  My very own Quarter Life Crisis (QLC).

When I hit 25  I woke up on my birthday and literally decided right at that moment it was time to change everything and, I did.  Long term Boyfriend (who was actually lovely), flat (that I owned in London), job (in Marketing for a very big bank in the UK) and I kept on doing it.  Jump to 3 years later and I am sitting on a plane to Sydney partied out, single, broke and miserable.  None of my changes had worked long term.   Change that was all self inflicted, change that involved me ending relationships, changing careers, moving house 5 times, jumping around several social groups and seriously straining some amazing friendships.  It was clear whatever change I made next had to be a big one.  A moving to the other side of the world kind of change.

What I have learnt from 5 years of change. (Including one very big Australian adventure)

I’m writing this from the airport, heading home after my first 18 months in Australia.  This milestone of my first trip home is a pretty big deal for me, particularly in the context of my QLC, and thinking on reflection of my decision to move here.    With time to kill in the airport, I started thinking about my Gran.  I’ve always been very close to my Gran.  She’s the one to blame for my passion for Doris Day movies and habit of singing musical songs in the shower.   She’s pretty deaf now, so we communicate mostly through letters and cards, hand written of course.  It is very sweet.  When I left the UK for Australia my Gran wrote me a card with some pearls of Dundonian wisdom to take with me to the other side of the world.  It said…

“Don’t go near spiders, don’t go swimming because of the sharks, don’t work as hard as you did in London and I hope you find the happiness you’re looking for overseas.”

I was moving to a strange foreign country.  Things would be different.  Things that no-one in my family could help me prepare for.  She understood completely why I was doing it, but it scared her.  And that is the thing about change, it is actually pretty scary.

I will never forget the night I left the UK.  It hadn’t really sunk in the majorness of this change I had organised myself into until I got onto the plane alone and headed for Sydney.  Just me, 26KGs of stuff and a large Scooby Doo teddy bear I’ve had since I was 15, who would act as a pillow and chief comforter.  I was flying away from my family, my friends, my career and everything I had pretty much ever had.  Including people I thought would be a part of my everyday life forever. Flying into a complete unknown and a whole new life, based on a hunch that I would love Australia.   I was fucking terrified and cried uncontrollably for the first 5 hours of the flight.

So in the “Quest for Happiness”, is change the answer?

For me, even though it has been scary and tough, it was the right change moving here.  The right change that eventually came at the end of a chain of others.  So, yes – if you aren’t happy, there is something wrong and yes, in order to resolve that change could be the answer.  But, here are some thoughts to consider if you think you may be going through a QLC.

  • Before you make any big change know you are doing it for the right reasons, and as much as you can, think about what consequences you might face as a result.  Recognise what you have that is valuable to you.  Don’t sacrifice it for something you just think you might want now.
  • Old habits die hard.  No matter what you change about your environment, there are some things inherent to you as a person that will never change.  So be comfortable being yourself.  You can’t change into someone you are not.   It sounds like bullshit sometimes, but relaxing and just being yourself is when you shine.
  • It’s great to start afresh.  But make sure you aren’t just running away. Don’t trick yourself into thinking you won’t bring those inner gremlins with you.  They will eventually get fed after midnight and start to trouble you once more.
  • If you do decide to make the change, don’t be too tough on yourself.  Change is hard.  Take each day as it comes and remember, its OK to feel a bit overwhelmed and frightened sometimes – if it is the right choice, it’ll worth keeping going.

The best thing about change

Be excited about the possibilities of your change.  The most exciting thing about change is the unknown.  Be ready to  grab any opportunity that comes your way.  All the unexpected adventures and experiences.  Ones you may not have ever had the opportunity to live should you have kept everything the same.

As a celebration of my decision to make the change to move here are some random memories of some unanticipated experiences and adventures that I have had in my first chapter in Australia.  They are what I will go home today to tell my Gran and they will be the experiences that will shape where I go next.  I hope you enjoy them.

Australia: Chapter 1′s random adventures

I lived in Campbeltown for two weeks.  Then I moved to Coogee.  I saw Vanilla Ice play live.  I met a bunch of new friends.  I worked at Jack Watts Currie for a little while, they were all lovely, it was very pretty and they had a ping pong table and an agency dog.  I joined Twitter, went along to a thing called Coffee Mornings, got drunk at SHTBOX and met some interesting people at both who would become good friends.  I went to Randwick Races and didn’t win any money, ended up going out in Manly and pretending to be Kate Winslet in Titanic on the Ferry ride home.  I ran a half marathon.  I got addicted to Underbelly.  I went to see a Clairvoyant, who told me good things I hope come true one day.  I went to see a good old friend in Wellington, the city with the best coffee in the world.  I saw Sydney turn red with dust.  I learnt how to Scuba Dive.  I went to Jervis Bay, went scuba diving with seals and saw a Humpback whale.  It was amazing.  I changed jobs.  I went to work at McCann.  I worked hard, and learnt a great deal from some true mentors like Chris Johnston, Mark Pollard, Vince McSweeney and Marie Claire Jenkins, as well a whole bunch of other awesome people there.  I went to back to New Zealand to shoot ads for work and ran around the lake in Queenstown.  It was beautiful.  I went to Melbourne.  And had to learn how to live it – fast.  I met an old soul I connected with.  I ran City 2 Surf.  I went to the Blue Mountains and ate liqororise and talked about life at the back of the bus like old ladies with my old boss from London.  I ran another half marathon, was late and got to run across a deserted Sydney Harbour Bridge.  I sang Karaoke.  I saw Robbie Williams play live and the 13 year old me died of happiness.  I swung on a hammock in the Australian countryside at a little magical music festival.  I rediscovered the fun of pretending to be a pirate.  I tried to re-learn how to drive a car, then drove a van 40kms across Sydney from Coogee to Castle Hill, to this day is my scariest day and my biggest achievement.

I went on a great big road trip adventure across Australia.  It was eye opening and amazing,  I didn’t drive.  Here are a random selection of  photos.

Trip highlights for me – I saw lots of wild Kangaroos that excited my inner tourist.  I went to The McLaren Vale, which I think is one of the most beautiful places in the world and tasted the most amazing red wine there.  I climbed Mount Wudinna and saw the sunset over it.  I saw the Nullarbor Plain and the road through it, it was intense.  I spent my first New Years here in a dried out swamp playing Uno and drinking port.  I saw the Indian Ocean for the first time and I saw the sunset over it too.

Back in Sydney I saw a blue moon and it gave me an idea for my future.  I took up Body Jam and realised I love hip hop dancing, even though I am very bad at it.  I did a creative writing course and played with some ideas.  I saw Salt n’Pepa play live.  I danced.  I started a blog.  I learnt what the Semantic web was all about, kinda…  I did my first Tri-athon and swam next to the Opera House.  I did some dancing Yoga.  I watched a lot of Rugby.  I started a group about Community, because it fascinated me.  I ran another half marathon.  I went surfing and realised I haven’t done that enough.  I jumped around in a mask on the pitch in the ANZ stadium shouting and screaming and felt like a nutter in order to learn how to present better.  I went back to New Zealand and helped make an ad with the All Blacks.  And I and got to be the person holding the t-shirts while Richie McCaw changed his top. ;)  I had a day at work where I spoke to people in New York, LA, Singapore, China and London in one day – and thought that was kinda cool, if a little stressful.  I got my palm read.  I got drunk with advertising veterans and listened to some great stories.  I discovered a group of Secret Foodies and got up to some good old fashioned mischief.  I watched the moon rise over the ocean turning into a lunar eclipse.   It was really beautiful and it made me think.

Overall, I have had 18 months of amazing, mostly completely unexpected experiences and adventures.  Thank you all for making it so great.  And even though this change was a good one and I am hoping my QLC might calm down a little now I am still ready for all the randomness and exploring in Chapter 2 when I get back  in a few weeks time.  :)

 

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The practice of happiness

Posted on July 8, 2010 | 4 Comments

I tried to code last weekend.  It was hilarious.  Sometimes I even find it hard to believe I have a degree in Comp Sci and used to program compliers when now, I can’t even handle the simpliest of CSS or HTML.

A similar thing happens when I try and talk French,  which I had a pretty good grasp of at 21. But the last time I tried, thinking I sounded quite good thinking I was well impressing the hot French waiter, but in actual fact, all I got was a sympathetic look and a smile at my abysmal attempts.

Generally, most ambitious and driven people want to be better.  We all love to develop new skills and get better at the ones we already have, but we don’t always love the amount of time you need to invest in developing these.  In fact, I find when time pressure gets high – very often it is the first thing we forgo.  And I’m sure we can all remember our French teachers at High school that if you don’t practise your skill, eventually it will get rusty and to get it back to where you were will involve a whole bunch of hard work.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately that with so many things – to get full benefit and enjoyment of mastering something, it really is all about practice. Practice, practice and more practice.   This includes our own happiness.

I have been lucky enough to meet some really inspiring people in the last few years.  Each of which had been through a journey of their own and have been kind enough to help me a little bit in mine with the advice they gave me. All of their lessons, plus a few of my own are things I try to now practise.  Practice that gives me a more healthy approach to my life that helps gives me that extra push I need to get through the hard days with a positive and happy mind.

The last few weeks have been crazy for me, I have had very little time to do anything but work and sleep, I get myself into these phases of relentlessness sometimes and I should know better by now that they are not good for me.   But I fell foul of stopping my practice –  I didn’t have time.  4 words we are all guilty of saying too much.    I slipped into old, bad habits and hey guess what?  I got grumpy, tired, unmotivated, stressed, negative and generally started whinging.   And no-one likes a whinger, especially me.

Making time to practise whatever it is you do to maintain your happiness is crucial.  It’s easy to get lost in being busy, but it’s as important as keeping up with those French verbs.  The longer you go on without practicing it, the harder it will be to get it back.  I hope my happiness never gets in the same state as my coding – that is for sure!

So, heres some random fun stuff I do that makes me happy.  They might work for you too – they might not.  I would be keen to know what your own personal happiness hits are too.

  • Sing.  In the shower, when you are walking down the street when no-one can hear you, in Karaoke bars – even if someone else has the mic.  Belting out those tunes releases major endorphins.
  • Go running.  It’s is cheaper than therapy and makes you feel amazing.  I’m running the Half Marathon in September.  So still loads of time to train if you fancy getting involved. ;)
  • Practise Yoga.  I’m told it can cure anything.
  • Walk a dog, or just hang out with one.  Guaranteed happiness.  I promise.
  • Do aerobics to euphoric dance tracks.
  • Surf.  (This calms my mind the most and I don’t do it nearly enough)
  • Have dinner with a good friend.  Share stories, a good bottle of wine and laugh.  (One of those conversations where your stomach hurts or you almost kinda pee yourself are best.)
  • Watch a movie or TV that requires no brain power.
  • Go out dancing.  And really let yourself loose it.
  • Do something randomly kind or sweet for a friend or family for no reason other than just because.  Giving to others is proven way to make you feel good.
  • Listen to Scottish radio (Yeah… that one might just be for me).
  • Eat well.   Don’t let yourself live on leftovers from meetings and Thai takeaway.
  • Sleep.
  • Play a game.  Board games, video or cricket on the beach, whatever – just play.  (And win)
  • Do things that scare and exhilarate you a little bit.  Like jumping off a pier into the ocean.

If you don’t fancy doing any of that, then I also have a more simple quote a very wise work colleague passed on the other week on this whole issue of work life balance.   He had found it quite insightful in the context of how you need to discipline yourself to make time to for your passion and allow it to completely get you away from work physically and mentally.  I really liked it too as a good general approach to life.

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. Thomas H. Huxley

And to know everything about something, well, that is going to mean a lot of practice.

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The Oxytocin we share

Posted on June 28, 2010 | 4 Comments

Apparently ‘Social Networking Affects Brains Like Falling in Love’,  I smiled to myself when I saw this article pop up on my newsfeed last week from Heather Snodgrass – because it confirmed a thought I have had a feeling about for a while now that playing in social networks makes our brains release happy feelings.

Neuroeconomist Paul Zak has discovered, for the first time, that social networking triggers the release of the generosity-trust chemical in our brains

Social networking has the ability to give us the same kind of happy hormones that we get from the euphoric feeling of being in love.  I.e. The social web can make us happier people.  All because of a little hormone called Oxytocin.

I am a massive romantic, I gush over romantic movies and love nothing more than curling up with a good old chick lit novel.  These are my single girl soppy indulgence, as I dream that one day I can too find the most amazing Mr Right who will chase me to the airport when I am about to leave in a heated moment of, what I believe to be unrequited passion, only to feel my heart flip as I see him at the top of the escalator waiting  to declare his undying love. We’ll live happily ever after running a beautiful winery and have a dog called Dudley.  A girl can always dream. :)

In real life though, love has its ups and downs, there isn’t always that feeling of ultimate high.  Relationships require emotional investment on a whole layer of levels and sometimes that can be hard.  The honeymoon period nirvana certainly doesn’t last forever.  But do social networks provide us with an easier place to get the high?  If it gets too hard with one person, doyou go find your happy hit from someone else?  I thought about this idea in a bit more depth in Belonging and the Social Web.

Coincidently, the lovely Rachel Beaney also wrote a great post about this same article, pondering over the dangers of Internet Addiction and I just wonder is if the constant seeking of the next connection hit that’s driving that?

As someone who is a bit of an internet and social network addict I can sympathise with this because I kinda live it in all honesty.  It’s always been something I have loved and probably invested too much of my time in since my early MySpace days which was the first time I reached out and made connections with new likeminded people who otherwise, were complete strangers.  But, although our online relationships are great, they should never truly replace the real life moments we share (and I know I would definitely rather have Mr Right here in the flesh).

Overall, I am fascinated by this research  and the thought there could be an interesting opportunity for brands to understand this scientific emotional benefit for people in the future.

As Zak and others deepen their study of oxytocin, we may better understand why people with friends live longer and get sick less, and why we are compelled to be social animals online and off. If these changes apply in the world of social media, the implications for business — for every brand, company, and marketer trying to understand the now intimately networked world — could be significant. Yes, there may be a dark side to all this: What if corporations come to understand human behavior and its root mechanisms so well that they can manipulate our biochemistry to trick us into buying more?

But whilst I think it’s interesting, the thought of a corporation messing with my Oxytocin levels does freak me out a bit, so while I curiously watch to see what will come of this research I echo Beaney’s thoughts to “keep it real”, and just make sure we aren’t just getting our only happiness fix from a virtual world.

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