Tag Archives: happiness

What a palmist, the Finnish and some mouldy yoghurt taught me about looking after me and my world.

Those who know me well know that I have a bit of a thing about Clairvoyants, getting my tarot cards read, positive spirituality – that sort of thing.  I don’t take it too seriously, I think it’s just part of my fascination with the future and I find it gives me a bit of a positivity boost about what might be around the corner when life feels a bit tough at times.

The Palmist

This Saturday the temptation of the spiritual strip at Paddington Markets was just too much for me and I decided to give palm reading a try for the first time.  I excitedly sat down next to the grey haired Nanna wondering what spiritual insights she would feed my future obsession with, but after 2 minutes it dawned on me that, unfortunately,  she was by far and away the craziest lady I have ever spoken to.  I started to feel a little uncomfortable about parting with my  hard earned cash in exchange for her ramblings.  Ramblings which were for the first 5 minutes mainly her telling me completely incoherent stories about nothing.  But just as I got that sinking uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that I’d made a bad choice her focus shifted well and truly onto me.  And it got pretty intense.

She shared several visions as she scrawled across the markings on my hands with a cheap biro.  Some good, some pretty exciting and some a bit scary if I am honest.  (Watch me always belt up in taxis from now on, apparently I may break my arm in an accident at some point.)

The thing that really stuck with me the most, mainly due to the terrifying ugly face she pulled to make her point, was a clear message from her that I didn’t learn how to slow down and give my mind some meditation and calm, by the time I’m 50 I will end up a mad lady who can only sit, stare and gibber (hence the need for the awful facial demonstration).  She was deadly serious as she delivered this message and the traumatising thought is one I have been pondering over ever since.

The Finnish

Coincidentally, I also stumbled across this report later on this weekend via Core77.

Entitled ‘The politics of happiness‘, Written for WWF Finland by Demos Helsinki.  It is a manifesto that has some well thought out ideas, which I think extend far beyond Finnish life.

Each idea and thought towards living a happier life is presented and then given an action plan in the form of recommended changes to government policy that will promote well-being in Finland through a more sustainable lifestyle.

It’s pretty long – but an absolutely fascinating read.  There are a lot of truly interesting points for me that could inspire many more blog posts.  But the point that resonated with me most was about the bad choices we make in our lives to live faster, save time, get short term fixes for happiness and, what the true consequences of our actions are for us and for our planet.

In a world that revolves around work and income, the consumption race has no finish line. Striving for happiness through increased capacity to consume is like urinating in one’s trousers on a cold winter day: it only provides a fleeting moment of warmth. The pressure to increase our capacity to consume even dominates our free time, which is spent buying things. Productivity increases and we fill our homes with purchases that provide only momentary joy. Our lives are divided between work and free-time, or making money and then spending the money we have made. There is no room for genuine free time.

Reading this, still in the fairly disturbed mindset the Palmist had left me made me wonder if I, and probably many of us, are victims of exactly this?

The Mouldy Yoghurt

It made me think about an incident that occurred in the kitchen at work a few weeks back.  When I do something wrong and someone pulls me up for it it really plays on my mind.  I was in a rush (as always) to make breakfast in the morning, while I was doing this  I noticed I’d left some yoghurt in the fridge.  Probably a good few weeks ago, so was likely to be really rank and nasty by now.  I grabbed it and without thinking chucked it in the the bin.

“You could have recycled that.” I was slightly taken aback by my colleague’s comment – but she was right.  It would have taken me 3o seconds longer to rinse it and recycle it,  but because I was so obsessed with the fact I had no time I was purely focused on the fastest way to throw away the yoghurt anything other than putting it in the bin didn’t even cross my mind.  Recycling one yoghurt pot might not make a massive amount of difference, but it still matters in the long term.

When pressed for time, we often make poor decisions regarding food, clothing and housing, as well as happiness.

I am sure I am not alone, thousands of people every day make bad choices only to save them time.  Time which for me, is saved only to then work harder, longer and the by product is we consume or waste more.  Referring back to the Finnish report.

Living slower, being happier makes us happier and kinder to the planet that we live on.

So, what has it all taught me?

I fear I may sound a little preachy here.  But these are my personal out-takes, I hope you can benefit from them too.

  • Really make sure you are making the time to think about your personal priorities.
  • Every choice you make has an impact on you and our world.  These decisions deserve some consideration about what you are sacrificing before you just ‘do’.
  • Always consider your own wellbeing and your planet’s day to day and try to learn to recognise when you’re not.
  • It might not be feasible to always live like this – but at least its worth giving it a try.

So, even thought she was a bit nuts – I think my impulse Palmist reading was absolutely worth 30 bucks. (I got a discount for being over 25).  Even if just for the entertainment value of some of her wild stories, like me being Julius Caeser’s private belly dancer in a former life!   She also had some other quite interesting thoughts on my future…  However, on a serious note,  the fact she made me stop, focus on being in that moment with her and as a result she has influenced my future path with some valuable lessons for a healthier happier me make it an absolute sound investment.  From today I’m on a mission to ensure I am still in sound mind and coherent on my 50th birthday.  I might not always do the right thing, but at least now I am consciously thinking instead of always  jumping straight in, plus – I’ve started recycling.

photo credit: By JeffreyFClark

Combating the effects of happiness

Something funny for a grey Friday morning that the Healthcare guys at work shared with me.   ‘Despondex’ is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness.

French daydreams in Sydney

I’m a daydreamer.  I love those moments where  I skip around the pretty, leafy streets of Sydney smiling and singing to myself.  There is no better soundtrack to those days than happy French tunes.  (Even though I have absolutely no idea what I am singing) .

So today I am sharing with you two of my favourite songs for when you just want to get lost in being playful.

Enjoy

Smell the roses

I saw this on a lampost in Darlinghurst yesterday.   Totally random, but that’s what made it all the better for me.  It’s one of those unexpected things you see that do make you stop, just for a moment, and appreciate what you have.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to whoever decided to share it and then I wanted to share it with all of you.

Interpretations of happiness

Beautiful short film from Ken Marzorati wth stunning music from Jónsi and Alex

Happy holiday sharing

This blog, quite simply, was set up so I could talk about happy stuff people share or how the act of sharing can make you happier.

This week my good friend Damian @damjanov demonstrated some inspired happy sharing on his holiday to NYC via Facebook, Twitter, UStream and probably a few other cool sites I don’t even know how to work yet.

We’ve seen his holiday snaps before he’s back, ‘liked’ them, had conversations about them, shared stories about the places he’s been today, heard about the bad coffee he’s drunk, recommended places to go  – and we’ve been with him every step of the way on one highlight of his holiday, buying one of the very first iPads.

He even recorded the experience of being in the store live on UStream :)

I’ve really enjoyed his stream(s) over the last few days.  I know some people don’t agree with this style of holiday sharing.  Many believe that if you go away you should disconnect from your life back home, disconnect from technology and experience the environment and people around you.

That may be the best approach for some, but if you want to stay connected then why shouldn’t you?  If it means you have a better time by having all your friends and family share the experience with you then I am all for it.  Damian is admittedly one of the most technologically savvy of my friends (just in case him queuing to get an iPad at 3am hadn’t given that away already), but I wonder if this style of dynamic holiday sharing may eventually become the norm for everyone?

Why someone else’s happy share can make you sad

Creating this blog was really for me to talk about interesting stuff that people share that makes them happy.  But this week I was posed an interesting question.

“What happens when one person’s happy share makes another person sad?”

I undeniably love social networks.  I have been obsessed since I went on yahoo chat rooms when I was 16, I lived the cliché of re-discovering an old flame on Friends Reunited, I had my fair share of MySpace dates back in the early naughties, I re-connected with old school mates on Bebo, got very excited when Facebook all got a bit mass and most recently Twitter has given me a way to stay up-to-date about things that interest me, within my limited time and attention span constraints plus its helped me make lots of new, like minded friends.  There has undoubtedly been a lot of fun brought into my life through these networks, but to my friend’s question – there is a darker side to social media that is rarely talked about.   Through what these networks allow us to see and know, they can actually hurt us.

In the last few weeks I have had to deal with 3 separate friends who have all suffered trauma by Facebook.  Nights of tears and red wine because now we have the power to see things we once couldn’t.

Australia spends more time on social networks than anyone else in the world, but what are we really looking at and why are we looking?

Remember how strange it felt to have public conversations at first on each others’ walls?  Now it’s an accepted norm to comment and chat on public view to all your friends.  This behaviour of a desire to show off our own social habits has inadvertently also given us a way to find out more about the social circles of those we envy or are intrigued by.

It is a tribal instinct to compete against others in our social circles.  This post from Frontal Cortex even questions if the nature of social networks is akin to primate dominance hierarchy, we are now able to numerically track and measure our popularity through follower numbers and responses to status updates.

We do want to know what other people are doing, because, in a strange kind of a way, we want to know if their lives look better than ours.

Rachel Simmons, an educator and the author of “The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence”, said Facebook’s new live feed format had made the site particularly difficult to tear oneself away from.  “You’re getting a feed of everything everyone is doing and saying,”  “You’re literally watching the social landscape on the screen, and if you’re obsessed with your position in that landscape, it’s very hard to look away.”

As humans we also natural voyeurs.  Particularly women, who are psychologically wired to be interested in other people.  Read any Jane Austen novel, celebrity magazine or even listen to a group of girls chatting.  99% of the time it will be about people and especially guys.   Online, it is often joked about that we ‘Facebook stalk’ – but why do girls get so obsessed with guy’s online activity?  One theory is hormones. Females in lust filled relationships are subjected to intense releases of dopamine and oxytocins hormones in our brains.  These hormones are addictive.  When they are taken away, we seek ways of trying to get the feeling back, or failing that, simply try to get closer to the person who gave it to us.  Facebook can can give us the hit of him that we think we need, without anyone else knowing  and then let us judge if our lives are better than his.   While this may feel satisfying for a moment, it is ultimately where his happy shares will most probably become a sad thing for us.

This post from the Urban Detective brings this scenario to life and it leads me back to the need for red wine when we self inflict ourselves to content, that of course will inevitably fill us with envy or jealously. 

So, are social networks making us sadder people?

There have been a number of studies conducted on Facebook’s effect on human behaviour – and even the evolution of our behaviour questioned from the effects of having larger social networks and access to more information.   But is there really such a thing as Facebook depression?  This article which said “Researchers at Stony Brook University in New York have found that too much Facebook usage can leave you more prone to anxiety and depression.”, was quick to caveat  that it could actually be any form of communication that aids anxiety – particularly in the case of teenage girls who ‘can talk themselves to tears’.  Would they do it anyway without the help of Facebook?

We absolutely do have more access to information about people now than before.  I think it’s true having the ability to look can pro-long some fascinations with people, prevent us from moving on and essentially, it can make us feel bad when we see someone has something (or someone) better than us.  But, at the end of the day the social network is not the creator – it is simply allows us to access the information.  It is up to us to recognise when our behaviour on these networks is hurting us.  Remember, the block button is not always a bad thing.

Make your sad friends happy

I saw this morning that my Israeli McCann colleagues have produced a facebook app that uses sad sharing to create happy sharing for their client ‘Yellow Retail’.  The app cleverly detects which of your friends status updates are sad – with words like ‘cried’ or ‘depressed’.

The lucky sad friends then receive a free game voucher to have some fun and cheer themselves up. 

They got some pretty happy results too – over 45,000 people installed the application.    It’s a nice example of how brands can use what we share on facebook to help our friends do something nice for us – Plus it seems to have worked for the brand too.

The sound of Vancouver sharing

Thanks to @dailydoseofjess for flagging this to me.

It is a simple post by Navneet Alang about the rarity of collective experience in, what he calls, “these culturally fragmented times”, with the context of the ‘shared moment’ that ‘Vancouver’ had when the Canadian Men’s hockey team scored their winning goal in the Olympics.  The video is beautifully calm, with a building excitement in sound as the climax of the game gets closer.  I really like it.

Isn’t it strange though how a game can evoke so many feelings and emotions in both men and women?   You share a collective passion with complete strangers around you, and it feels amazing.  There are not many other things we share with others that can make us so happy or excited (or share being sad when it doesn’t go so well).

Coincidentally, I also found myself back at a live sporting event for the first time in months this weekend – I had a really good time.  Even though it was actually a pretty boring Rugby game I had forgotten how if you share in a sporting experience, the normal barriers to socialising seem to come crashing down.   Everyone is your friend and everyone is accepted with a shared purpose.

So, thank you Sport -  you brought a smile to my face this weekend.  You can make us ecstatically happy and you can simply get us talking to each other.

I am not sure I agree we have less moments of collective experience now.  In fact – I actually think there are more opportunities  with technology to share moments.  But I agree, sometimes the good old fashioned hug with a random when your team scores really just can’t be beaten.

Happy blushing beetroots